Jealousy...A Good Kind

As some of you know, 3 people in my family were diagnosed with brain cancer in the past few months. Two of them were originally diagnosed with lung cancer that then spread to their brains, the other started with colon cancer and then spread. None of them were given much time. I'm writing this because one of them passed away yesterday. She's my Nanny's sister and was in her late 70's or early 80's. She was a lover of Jesus and a God-fearing woman. As I sat and thought about her today I realized a strange feeling rising in me. It was jealousy. I could just imagine how spectacular it must be standing before the throne of God and meeting Jesus face-to-face in total Truth. Yeah, I'm jealous.

I will also share that the other two are not saved. Yeah, my uncle grew up in church and all that and even openly professed his belief most of his life. Still, at the present time he is far from a follower of Christ. In fact, he owns a bar, belongs to a biker gang called the Diablos, and "allegedly" uses illegal substances. The other is my sister's biological grandmother. (So, we're not technically related, but we all just say we're related because there is that kind of bond between all of us.) She is most definitely not saved. No question about it. I've been praying for them both and am believing God will get their attention before it's too late. Only time is running short for them. Neither is expected to make it much past Christmas, if even that. I want to be jealous of their passing, too. I want to know that they are in a place that not even my wildest imaginations could think up.

As for now, I'm also praying for my Nanny. She is the oldest of the three girls in her family but the only one still living. So, she outlived her entire birth family. Her sister, the one who just died, was her best friend and she spent many of weeks and weekends with her in these past few years and almost nonstop in these past few weeks. I can't imagine losing my last family member and my best friend all at once. I know she always looked so forward to her visits with her sister; they seemed to be the highlights of her life. There is a part of me that is hoping that she doesn't lose her will to live or something like that. She's still in wonderful health for an 84-year-old and is pretty vibrant all around. Still, she is a Christian and I know that no matter what she will end up in a wonderful place so I'm not really worried. I just want her last days on this earth to be happy and blessed ones, that's all.