Only Because I Can't Sleep

It is after 2 a.m. and I'm way too awake! This often happens with me if I miss my "window of sleepiness", I guess you could call it. Especially on Sunday nights when I'm all rested up from sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday. So here I am, laying in bed, typing about nothing, but trying to calm the myriad of thoughts dancing through my head. So, I read Katie's life update and decided to do one, too. :) Only, as I think about it, three of her topics run into one for me and I don' thave the other. Hm, oh well, I'm still gonna do it!

Life

Lately I've been challenged with the thoughts of what I want with my future. In that I mean, how much of my life am I really going to give up to His control. The fact that He's not shared much about my future with me for the past few years has been very difficult for me to deal with. Now it's like He's saying to me that I can have whatever I want, but the greatest things will come through patience and even resisting things that are "acceptable" in order to get to what is "perfect". What's even more frustrating is that it's as if He's saying He'll bless whatever I choose. Which sounds good, but I can only imagine that if I choose the acceptable I'll always wonder what it would have been had I waited and persisted just a little longer. So I'm pretty sure I know what's gonna happen!

At the same time, He continues to amaze me with His perfect timing even in the littlest things. (Hm. I guess these things are actually quite related....) And just seeing how He does in fact allow us to cross paths with those He's reaching out to daily and wants us to be His mouthpiece brings an ever increasing sense of awe to my spirit and mind. So awesome...so humbling.

Family

Um...I have no family. Well, I have the one I had growing up, which I pray for earnestly day and night. And, I pray for the one I will hopefully have in the future someday just as earnestly day and night!

Ministry

My ministry is my work. Eastern Greene is my mission field and I look at it is nothing less. Things there are going pretty well. Every day presents abundant opportunities to be a light in a darkenend world. I can't speak the Truth but I do my best to live it. My rapport with my students continues to improve and the ingenuity that the Holy Spirit gives me on how to make learning "fun" constantly blows me away. More than that, His ability to give me the patience and stamina for doing such amazes me the most. It really is a tiring job, people! To have 30 kids in a a lab 6 hours a day really takes a toll on you! Then you come home and work on it all for another three or four hours in order to be ready to face them the next day! It's crazy, but I love it! Oh, and the clubs I sponsor are taking off even better than I expected (jr. high science club and peer tutoring). And, I'm the 7th grade rep for the new middle school committee. I really don't have time for that, but when you're asked to do something like this you jump on it because that means you get more say in what will happen with your job. Plus, to me, it's a honor to have been asked to do it. So, school continues to dominate my life and keep me on my toes!

Schooling

I am not just over half way finished with my master's courses. I started last October and will finish in July. *sigh* I want a break so badly! Like, a whole month or something. I've been going at it nonstop for a year now, with just a week break between every other class. It's very intensive and challenging trying to work and do my classes at the same time. I only spend about 25 hours a week on my coursework, but it still puts a strain on my time and mental capacities. I love what I'm learning and KNOW that it is impacting my classroom now and will have profound effects in years to come. It's just hard to implement it as I go along, which I am expected to do. I've been very successful thus far and have gotten very good reviews from my professors and peers/classmates on how well I can take the information and make it my own. Again, that's all God! I pray before every new lesson plan or paper I write for review and ask Him to show me how I can use what I'm learning. Sometimes the ideas that pop into my head astonish me and I get all excited by it, so I know it must be Him.



Okay, I think a second window of sleepiness is now open. I'm gonna catch it before it closes! I'm sure tomorrow night all the windows will be wide awake!