Life continues to be a delight and full of everything good! In the past couple of weeks I find myself growing more fond of Texas (I didn't think that was possible, actually) and adoring my friends here more than I thought I could. I can't tell you how blessed I feel every time I reflect on how much my life has changed in less than a single year. I feel like my days in Bloomfield are lightyears behind me. Which, in and of itself, is amazing. I mean, how could 3.5 years of being in such misery because of such unfulfilled longings and yearnings and desires constantly tugging at my mind and emotions seem so far away? I can only say....BECAUSE OF HIM!!!
I know it is rather cliche to use the analogy of a mother giving birth who forgets the pain of the delivery when she finally has her child in her arms, but that is how I feel. Those years are kind of a foggy memory. Still, they are years that brought forth some deep workings in me and have allowed me to grasp this present reality.
So, I guess my encouragement for all of you out there who might be longing or hoping for or desiring something that seems beyond your ability to take hold of it....IT WILL BE WORTH IT! God once took me to a movie (ah, isn't He just precious?!?) and as I sat there with Jesus, He gave me a phrase that related to the movie. He said, "I am in the waiting." At the time that was a nugget of Truth I needed to just to get me through that particular trial. Now I look back on it as one of the most profound things He's ever spoken to me directly. HE IS IN THIS TIME OF WAITING no matter how unfruitful it seems...or painful...or disappointing...or heartaching...or just plain long. He's working out things in your and, yes, FOR you.
As for me now, I'm in a time of reaping. Of course, I don't feel like I ever sowed anything that was even as remotely awesome as all that is being poured out upon me. And with my 30th birthday only a few days away an anticipation continues to grow in me as I look forward to what the next year of life will hold. Plus, I just can't until all the celebrating that is about to begin!! LOL Y'all know I love to "party" and my friends here are pretty awesome party partners! :) (I really, really hope to get some pictures of all of them to post soon. But w/out a home computer it's hard to post pictures.)
Right now I'm at the school cleaning up and getting ready for next week. So, I'm gonna get out of here soon. I just wanted to blog while it was possible.
Blessings to you all!!!!
1 comment:
Since we haven't heard very much from you lately via your blog, I was hoping everything was ok - and things certainly seem to be more than ok, which is a big relief!
Yes, I think it is so amazing that in human life things that can seem SO hard during the trial can just become a distant memory once the trial is over, like when you are in major pain, for instance, and then the pain disappears, you don't dwell on how much it hurt when you were in pain, you are just thankful that you are no longer in pain! Yeah, I know what I mean.
I have been hoping for that sensation in my own trial, hoping that that is the way it will be for me, that the pain of all the waiting will disappear once the waiting is over. Mostly I want to get through the waiting "well" and have maybe put too much pressure on myself to make it through "well", but at the same time I do think that my attitude during the waiting should be that "I will overcome." As in, I won't just survive the trial/waiting, but I will make it through victorious, and having learned something and done something otherwise productive with my life. And right now it doesn't seem that way, but maybe I will be able to see that after the trial is over. Who knows? All I know right now is that I am SICK and TIRED of the trial and ready for it to be over, not having any clue why in the world it could ever be beneficial to me to be going through this.
I am glad to know that Jesus is in the waiting. I do have a sense of that, because I am convinced that He never leaves me, but maybe I need even a greater revelation of that. Because as you said, it really is profound.
I look forward to pictures of your friends (are you sure you aren't entertaining angels unaware?) and I am excited about your birthday celebrations!
Wish I could be there with you!
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