Bit by Bit...I WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

This is where it starts to get a bit more tricky. So much happened within me that it will honestly take me months, if not years, to fully know the full effect of it all. However, I'm going to continue to try to give a general explanation of it all. It is my hope that in the days to come you will see the fruit of my time spent there by which you'll really get a true representation of all of it.

Saturday 12/29 (morning session) - As we had entered into the auditorium they handed us an outline for Mike Bickle's teaching for that large group session. It was entitled Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness: Complete Obedience. Now, I need to comment on something that happened the night before. One of the things that we'd been asked to do is really allow God to search our hearts for the area(s) where we needed to say "YES!" to Him. For me, that was "complete obedience". That coupled with the fact that I'd been seeking God for what it means to be "happy" just a few weeks before meant this session was one I just didn't want to miss.

Then we began to worship.

I'll be honest, I was tired. I almost fell asleep. Then, I was jolted back to full consciousness by THE STRONGEST impression to go to the prayer room. I toiled for a moment because I REALLY didn't want to miss that message. Then I relented because I knew that God knew where I needed to be. So I went.

When I got there I realized they had a special section set up for those seeking healing. So, I got prayer. The two most lovely women prayed for me, nailed things right on the head about my situation. Then, well, then this overwhelming need to just SCREAM came over me. Of course, you can't do that IN the prayer room, so they went with me outside on the street, in the freezing Kansas City weather to SCREAM and declare my freedom from sickness. IT WAS POWERFUL! I am sure I got some looks, but I was so consumed by what God was doing that I couldn't tell you if that was true or not. (No, there was not immediate healing but I will get to that part in a bit.)

Once back inside I took communion to "seal it", as they said. When I went back to my time to reflect the Lord brought to mind a dream I had had many, many years ago. One that I'd not thought of since that time. It was about a house infested with cats. I would kick out the cats but they'd keep getting back in. Over and over this happened. I had no idea how they'd get back in, but it was definitely not a good thing. I felt like the Lord brought this back to mind because that house represented my life. The cats were things in my that had generation connections. Like so many things in my life, I'd think I had triumphed only to deal with them again and again. I didn't know how to overcome, or how to "keep them out". Just like the cats kept finding places in the house that were hidden to me by which to re-enter, so were some of the issues I dealt with. But on this day I had kicked them out and sealed all the unseen passages for these "cats"!

After all this was said and done I went back upstairs JUST IN TIME for the message given by Mike Bickle! Now, I really don't have much to say on it. It was pretty foundational, things I already knew, so no huge revelations came forth. Only confirmation of the things the Lord had been asking of me for quite some time. With it, grace came to be able to say "YES!" to these things. Yeah, I guess that is a pretty major thing to point out. It was one of the moments in time when you REALLY let down your guard and let the Lord know that you are willing to do whatever it takes. You just give up to Him completely. But it is now that I'm back in the "real world" that I'll be challenged to walk these things out. (This is where you can really pray for me!)

I think I have to stop there for tonight. Only because that was a powerful experience, but not nearly as powerful as what came that night. Ohmigosh! I can't wait to share it. It was was pretty intensely amazing! But I'll write about it tomorrow afternoon, I'm sure. I can't wait to relive it in my mind!!!! :)