As I was reading Yolonda's most recent post something kinda "jumped" inside of me. Reading what she wrote about Hebrews and the concept of embracing the promises of God regardless of what one gets to see but knowing that you've help to sow into something that is bigger than you could imagine got me to thinking. It got me to thinking about intercession. Let me share a little....
In an instant the reading of that post took me back to UE and Monday nights of prayer around campus. I recall so vividly those times, but hadn't thought on them in some time. Yet, I quickly remembered a time praying in the oval discussing how blessed we were to be reaping what other intercessors and men and women of God had prayed for us who were there long before we were ever Aces. I also remember praying those same kinds of prays for future Aces who would adorn that campus and, hopefully, reap the benefit of our seeds sown in prayer for them. Those who had come before will never know how powerful of an encounter each of us had with God in large part, I believe, for those who came and prayed before us. Likewise, we'll never know if we made any kind of difference in the lives that came after us.
That's what so often has stumped me. How come we never got to see the things we prayed for? I mean, I TRULY believed I was going to see those visions come to pass in that year or so. I really, really did. When it didn't (or not to the extent I was believing for) I believe a little something in me died. And with each passing year away from there, but still having a heart after the things of God and interceding for so many, many, many things, but never getting to see hardly any of the fruits of those labors, more and more of me died. But in these past months...since summer....much has changed in my life and relationship with God. So, so, so much and especially my prayer life.
When I say that it has changed I mean that I still pray and talk to Him, but intercession is a feared pleasure, if you will. I always loved those times. Yet, after so many years of feeling like I had prayed His heart but never saw the fruit of any of it, I gained a fear that I was never really praying His will but mine alone. And I've learned that when I set my hopes on my desires, disappointment is sure to follow. So, if praying my will is all I'd ever done, then I don't want any part of it.
So, my question....how do you know if you are praying in vain out of your own desires versus His? I know you test it against the Word first and foremost, but some visions are not written in the Bible, ya know? They might line up with the Word but still be of us. I know much of it is faith. Well, all of it is faith...but...I don't know. Sometimes I just feel so foolish about it all. Like I was some lemming just following along what the crowd was doing but we didn't even know where we were being lead. And, in the end, many times, I feel like it was to my death.
Anyway, those are just my thoughts at this moment. :)
1 comment:
I am reading a book called POWER FROM ON HIGH. It is by Charles Finney and it basically dubunks prayer unless there is results. I don't agree with some of his judgemental statements. In my belief intercession is talking to God, more than asking. Even though we ask in intercession I think we are talking to Him more or less. We are reminding Him of promises He has already given us. It is silly for someone to say "will you stayed married to me every day" to our husband if he already made the vow. I guess what I am failing to say is, don't fear results. Fear missing an encounter with the Holy. Results will come because His promises are YES AND AMEN. If it doesn't come to pass you will know you prayed something amiss when you get to heaven. ....but God loved that you tried in my estimation. relationship, relationship, relationship. But, if you pray for bread God won't give you a stone.
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