You can do it!

Alright, so a few of you know that I had a REALLY bad weekend. REALLY BAD. Today didn't start out much better. The same, "I suck!", feelings lingered all day, but I think I did well to hide it for the kids' sake. ;) All that had happened in the past week just left me feeling so lonely, rejected, vulnerable, and utterly depressed. To top it off, it has just been a looooooong, rainy, icky, cold day. I didn't leave school until nearly 8 p.m. and by the time I did I was just dead tired. Yet, I needed to go to Wal-Mart(which is about 20 min. west of my home) and as I was headed there I discovered I'd forgotten something at school and had to go back (which is 20 min. east of my home). NOT the amount of traveling I wanted to do to end this day! But as is often the case the driving turned into being great God time.

The details would be too much, but God continued the vision He gave me several weeks ago. (Which I know I've sent part to some of you via email, but I've been stuck on the rest because there are parts of it that are very difficult for me to "feel" as I write!) This time it was all about being at the bottom of a large hill. A large hill that had to be climbed in order to see a beautiful city. It was all about not giving up at the what seemed like the insurmountable task. It was about how hard it is to spend many days/months/years in a desert fighting the elements but then coming to yet another challenge. A challenge that you just don't feel you can overcome and, worse yet, what if you do and it's just more desert on the other side?

It continued to play itself out, but I'm not going to dwell on all that right now. The part I wanted to share, I believe, involved you guys. As I was sitting at the bottom of this hill, feeling so overwhelmed and just crying...kind of to God, kind of just because it's all I could do, it was as if I started hearing cheering in my spirit. People saying, "You can do it! We believe in you! God is for you! We are for you! We know it's hard, we know you're tired, but you can do it! Don't give up now!" and the like. And though I was so tired and hopeless, those voices are what started me up the hill. I believe those are symbolic of the prayers people have prayed for me recently. It made me think of the great cloud of witnesses, actually.

Right now, my spirit feels so light, so airy. Driving home from the school the second time I almost felt drunk! It was wild! And I have a courage right now that is definitely beyond my own stirring up. Okay, so the image I see in my head is like this warrior chic in full armor standing atop a hill/mountain...one foot propped on a rock...wind blowing through her hair and a look of absolute determination to conquer whatever comes her way! That's how I feel right now.

Wow! Only the Holy Spirit can cause a 180 turn like that in a matter of 45 minutes!

I just had to share and thank you for your prayers because things have been really bad up until these past few hours. Just like I can't express how pumped I feel now, I can't express how dejected I was before.

Thanks my prayer warrior friends!